"How are you?"

We have some friends who, when they came to visit, always gave us an “Organ Recital”, which was their name for ones recital of ones health problems. Some time ago, not wanting to provide an Organ Recital when asked the question “How are you?”, I collected, from friends and relatives, a set of suitable replies. Here they are:

"Well, I'm now approaching perfection"

"I seem to be deteriorating according to schedule."

"I'm tottering towards eternity"

“I’m still vertical.”

“I am very well, considering the alternative.”
OR
“Maybe the alternative wouldn’t be so bad after all…”

“Just like an older car, I need to be serviced more frequently. However, it doesn't seem to be happening.”
OR
"If I were a car, I'd be recalled."
OR
"If I were a car, I'd be in the junk yard."

“Day by day in every way I am getting worse and worse.”

“I can't stop the clock, so I just rewind it".

"I’m 39 & holding".

“I’m much better than I deserve.”

“I'm able to sit up and take nourishment!"

“Average.”

“If I were a building, I’d be condemned.”

“Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything”

"I'm terrible!" "Well, then, have a nice day...!" "That's not what I have in mind."

"I'm in the wintertime of senility."

If any reader would like to provide his own response to the Question, please click "comments" down below.


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